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(Byron the Bulb):=

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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  2008.11.08  18.13

punching data into the void
years too late when the ideas
just stopped coming like
they used to.

no more time for fictions,
all the sweat needs to stand
for something true and pure
and hopefully something great.

screaming into the void when
possible, scores of hazed-virtual


  2008.11.03  17.53

social tangents

I am lost in an ocean of pictures, scenes from my life that will likely never happen.
Similar streets and facile feeling, always the same, always at the same time of day.
A kiss of love, menacing faces. Descriptions fail even the most simple scenes.
Language endlessly repeating, without merit, without surprise. Simple practiced laughter
echoes all around. Couples dancing closely, a slight whispering sound.

The music is fading. The humor is already gone. Colors are on the floor
from the lights above. Children banter endlessly in foreign tongues as men
vaunt over their food. How can people choose to live more than one life at a time,
and not realize they are the same wretched thing. Shivering in the dark,
a moment’s history gone. A string of contorted nerves, you’ll be better by dawn.

Inert body. Absent voice. Missing words. What will do. Physical contact.
No one to tell what to think. Unintentional meditations. Walls of electric light.
It’s important to keep an open mind, when attempting to speak in tongues. The city.
Necessary, nebulous, night. Active thinking tinged with reverb. Fades. Celebrate, fear,
love, need and want. Problems with communication, horizons in the void, naught.


  2008.09.21  16.54

im so abysmally lost. it's all wrong.


  2007.09.14  18.06

have you ever felt powerful?


  2007.08.19  19.26
more finish-the-story worksheets from students

If you had a time machine, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you talk to?

If I had a time machine, I would...Collapse )


  2007.08.16  14.32

The air is sweeter here. A death's-drop below, the warm waters of the Pacific quietly thrash at hidden beaches, while large sea birds silently glide away out along the horizon. Their winds gently nudging the knee-high grasses and thorned, flowered plants from side to side along with all the other bodies standing out here on this precipice. It feels good to be alive and awake, lost in such an experience. The sky is bluer than blue. And there are no other thoughts.


  2007.08.15  13.09
from a student's finish-the-story worksheet:

The Strange Machine

My uncle is an inventor. One day, I was searching through the attic of my uncle's house. I found a very strange machine with many buttons, knobs, dials, and levers. I had never seen a machine like it before. On one side, there was a button that said 'on'.

uncle is touch gasranger on body stick. uncle said "Urrrr.... aaaaa....." uncle sad. family come running uncle. family said. "Are you sad?" uncle said. "me touch gasranger on body stick." family said. "oh, really?" uncle said. "yes." family said. "you fast went to the hospital." uncle said. "ok".



  2007.08.14  13.38

stopquit hitting me momma, it hurts momma, imma justa little baby girla momma. whyn mustu b hittin mee therenthere'n'evearywheres on the wall as i scrawl across the countedtops open splitmilkn cooking potapans hewing that spatula like dracula on the Tvee momma. did dadde do dat dis dime dtopped dshort, hmm? [her head is tilted in confusion] lookie this hare i pooled from may ground naggin ontop anddont u b callin mea bayB IB heytin it andn yous aknowit there. look. look look look lookooklokloklookooklkoo-kooklok the spyder upa shoot land down kayme thy rayne 2 wosh me spidy lout. like u i am bein trying to behave like imma supposited to blee tuld todo tfings i n t h e ke,etchin sketchin playces downastairs tumble tumble whee momma! ha heehee hah! [she is giggling] eye can c u! can u c E? ha hughhee hah!, chasychasy chasy and touche toucha ifa ifa u u can cannie u try2? wherere all my firends momms? nommy mommy pretty itty girls. all tem bug weirds at duh skool in my here and out abother cousin i dont listen. and pleaease take this thing back momma, its waying down my neck. i dont want it want it want it. this goldolden "t", taykit a way.


  2007.08.09  21.26
if you dont comment/offer criticism im going to assume you hate it

hello? what's this just here, on the floor, looks like a notebook (of this im sure) im picking it up - and what do i see? - at first a cacophony of lines and squiggles galore, sweaty words pushed through the overworked hands of a desperate human beijing. and then at the top, in dark and darker even evermoreso the darkest imaginable possible kind of substance there lies a title and my mood (as you can plainly as in the daylight see) is being severed. these words, as they lay, nearly sleeping and at bay on this humid and uneventful day read as the following:

What It Must Feel Like To Die

it is here in these last moments that we may bow our heads to pray thaet yer sewl haes piean teaken Karen O'flanenhearty the be Jesus sai nty aTa ctross [the t's are crosses] on the summit geruntergangen thee thyny sewl onna thread spwekewering this scrawl blownaparte by its own mices and dicey splattering spelling superior supersupernintendo reading of history and we're lost in the mind with just silencio silentced candle beetletraub daek cat flake and ohso tirediordiota tribe sector vector twelfevenstephenveneneverneverne stop to tryin' and to rollin' with the B*** boxin' to protectoritin' where yerour career be spiralin' inouttro-w-o-w-w-w ailing against the son begging for rainning kinging of the werst kind so thick a mouthful'll kill ya won'tcha know and then we sleep and sleep till death is finally realty inconsequencarnate.

refuse to relose when the eyesouth<-mern comfertable bottle payrade bug children dayncing to the swleep see-ound of meesic and tablefencerrific slidetackle the problem you sew thehat ewe swe ews wes toT.tf tot +o+ \o/ mom YoY --o-- *o* OoO [the circles are heads] the she people guther in the gatter claptrap chatter the better when its wetter with a sweater to the rickshaw connected-word jumboled tunic ratter teeth. My wota whata what you want the wutto lut trut such a stunted funt font betweent your cuntlin' trunk bunk dunk donk doop poob E loop shit. Such weediculousness est best reserveded for the dead -- whichashappenedstancemayforthwidthbepresumedtopraytellif chancewere wereto smile like a little lasso darling -- you will be. You never will be. all these thoughts and consequent recompense is for naught and we best be cleared to make way.


  2007.08.03  00.48

Onomatopoeic Message Gratification!1!1 Relinquishing Oral Fixation on Language!!1!


  2007.08.02  09.27

you're all that was available when the time came


  2007.08.01  13.08
is there anybody out there?

it's hard (damn hard i say) to really care about what one should be doing with one's own life. especially if you're cognizant enough to recognize half of these words, you're at a point where the majority of the decisions you have to make everyday have been predetermined in some sense. our later formative years are spent fine-tuning the trajectory our lives and careers are meant to be aiming at; and we have nothing but blame for ourselves when most of the time is spent thinking about where we want to end up landing or at what speed we should be hitting our target when the time comes.

do we choose what we do in life because we're good at it? or because it's all that became available for the split-second moments we make our decisions that set year/two-year long trajectories in life.

all of these words, and letters, and symbols surrounding us. taunting our eyes with transient thoughts and images, fugacious tattoos seared into the folds of conscious, computing, calculating matter. this is misery coming from a comfortable place. these are the words of a well-fed mind training to fear its environment.


  2007.07.30  13.42

kevin bacon is meant to make sense of all of this hulk hogan cant spell communist doug keller knows what im talking about branden dashiell ate my acid-soaked fruit loop benjamin wielgosz helped me find the smart shop laura petrillo i believe once in an off-hand manner told me that she loved me once cristin chloey accardi is getting pissy right now t.j. hooker is some name ive heard of before gabe is way into movies and shevaun brannigan once brought me to a place in myself i had never been to before lily schwartz has a comcast problem like the rest of you do johnna schmidt would gladly let me crash at her house gina is korean and sitting near me as is helen with talkative kelsey fidel castro is beard-ful jesus probably wasnt realy hard to keep that in mind martin landow is used to his name being spelt wrong and was in a tv show i watched last night on my computer jim carrey i heard has a huge cock morgan freeman is god man cheryl powers is my mother fucker (do you know who rutger hauer is?) lindsay sister powers is a lot cooler than i am and way more relatable mike diaz made me feel like i had titties once dylan went to school with chelsea clinton joseph moved to one of the carolinas and doesnt remember me will moved to california and remembered me though doesnt want to be seen with me david fish lied to my face and i believed him i actually thought he was from whatever eastern european country he said he was from and

if i had the time i wouldnt have forgotten you. follow your dreams kids, and make sure you aren't lazy enough to let them bleed through your sleeping and idle fingers. the body dies long before the mind, but guess which one is more crucial in making it real.


  2007.07.30  13.23

have you ever considered what your life would be like if you didn't speak english as your native language?


  2007.07.22  18.41
whoomp, there i am

And now for some highlights of a long-time friend accompanying me to the wudaokou late-night meat market/bar-club flesh-party scene:

Five or so random guys near the bar, after perhaps putting back some of their open-bar martinis or Jack and Cokes or something: "U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A."

Me (in parentheses) seizing the opportunity to embarass fuckwits spreading stupidity in a hostile foreign country/rest of the world: "U-S-A. (SUCKS) U-S-A. (SUCKS) U-S-A. (SUCKS)" My friend sooner than later joins me; it's immediately two versus five.

They turn to look at us after actually hearing our addendum to their chanting. They kind of stop and look at us, somewhat angrily.

My friend breaks the silence: "U-N. U-N. U-N." And I join him thereafter for a bit.


  2007.05.23  01.13

i am your skeleton
your skin moves across me
it never ends
you simply speak
to confess your sins
it never ends


  2007.05.14  18.36

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  2007.05.09  00.15

we all look up to the sky and see the exact same thing


  2007.04.20  11.10
see if you can figure out what im talking about

why is it when i want to play the yes/no/maybe/get-me-drunk-and-we'll-see game walking down the street all the ones that i'd say yes to seem to not exist?


  2007.04.12  22.17

The sun is setting. Dear God, the sun is setting.


  2007.04.01  04.14

Well, it took a lot of guts, but I finally got around to it...

I popped the question... and she said yes!!!

I'm getting married!

Mood: happy

  2007.04.01  04.02

by the time you finish reading this, someone will have been born and someone will have died.


  2007.03.28  15.38

curious to know what the zeitgeist in China generally feels like?


  2007.03.22  23.45


so livejournal's been blocked in china. for what reason: no one will ever know publicly.

it's a pain in the ass to load it now, so expect a lot less entries.

do your part to say fuck you to closed societies: convince a friend of the need for freedom of expression, transparency in gov't, etc.


  2007.03.21  05.49

great jesus what's become of all of this...


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